Tabe Slioor vs. Anton Szandor LaVey (Jallu 9/1969) - English Version
MRS TABE SLIOOR TELLS ABOUT SATAN AND THE ARCH DEVIL CALLED ANTON LAVEY
THE DISGUSTING CEREMONIES OF THE CHURCH OF SATAN
Tabe Slioor (21 November, 1926 – 25 April, 2006) was in her time a famous Finnish celebrity, socialite, journalist and fashion model. She was avidly followed by media after her notorious affairs with some famous men in high positions, such as Erik von Frenckell, the honorary mayor of Helsinki. Tabe Slioor was of Persian descent and claimed her father had been a prince even though the truth was something far more modest. While living in San Francisco, she wrote a series of profiles of American public figures for the men's magazine Jallu (which, compared to the magazine's later reputation, was still quite chaste at this point, focusing mainly on pin-ups and bikini photos). Jallu had also been the magazine to publish Tabe's controversial memoir in the early 1960s.
Tabe's Stateside interviewees included Ronald Reagan, Spiro Agnew, Bing Crosby, Harry Belafonte and, for this story, Anton Szandor LaVey (11 April, 1930 – 29 October, 1997), founder of the Church of Satan. Even though Tabe expressed her disgust at the infernal proceedings at The Church, she and LaVey may have been even more kindred spirits than she was readily willing to admit. Tabe also wrote an article about San Quentin State Prison after being granted permission to spend several weeks there. During this time, Tabe is said to have met cult leader Charles Manson several times. The little girl in the story, whom Tabe calls "Tiina", is LaVey's daughter Zeena (born 1963). Thus, Tabe Slioor writes:
It was a beautiful, warm San Francisco evening when I went to see the Arch Devil himself to observe how the weekly ceremonies were performed at the Church of Satan. There were so many people in the vestibule that I wondered how everyone would fit into the black-walled room where the actual festivities were going to take place.
I looked around inquisitively. Most of them were between the ages of 20 and 65, and as my inquiries revealed, mostly single. All were well-dressed, among them many well-known San Franciscan figures. Why had they come? Out of conviction. Out of curiosity. Because they wanted to try something new, something they had never experienced before.
I saw one of my close acquaintances among them, the owner of the finest art gallery in town, who sells works by my friend Beniamino Bufano, among others. I went up to him and asked the reason for his presence.
– I came here out of curiosity, he replied. – I’ve been here before.
– What do you think of this cult of Satan?
– It’s just a bunch of hogwash if you ask me. But if someone wants to believe in him, that’s fine with me. There’s no harm in that. It just shows how stupid those “believers” are. But keep in mind that LaVey also has a lot of valuable things to say to us humans. He’s a very wise man.
– What kind of teachings are those, then?
– You’ll see for yourself once the meeting starts.
Another man I interviewed put it this way:
– LaVey is a great philosopher. It's as if he showed the mirror to the faces of the members of the Church of Satan. If you didn't see any bad things in the world, you wouldn't know how to value the good.
A faithful member of the congregation told me that LaVey's family had never attended the Church services, but another man knew that at least once LaVey's wife had lain naked on the altar.
We moved into a black-walled room with rows of chairs like in a movie theatre. At exactly 9 p.m., the Devil entered the room wearing a black suit, over which he had a floor-length cape with red lining. He rang a bell to signal that the meeting could begin and began by reading his tens of commandments to the new members.
When he had finished, the lights went out and for twenty minutes the congregation was allowed to reflect on the Arch Devil's words and ask some questions.
The lights came back on and the new parishioners gathered around the Arch Devil. With some solemn gestures, he picked up an antique vase and poured them a goblet of some mysterious drink.
– It's pee! a man explained to me. Oh, how horrible! I was shuddering.
The new members thus admitted to the congregation returned to their places and the Devil lit a fire in the fireplace – which served as the altar.
Now I noticed that there was a wooden cross, similar to the ones you see in old cemeteries. Cold shivers ran down my spine. Could it be true that…
My thoughts were interrupted when I noticed what was happening around me. The men began to unbutton their pants and then took turns to pee on the wooden cross. Those who, unfortunately, didn't feel the physical need to pee, anyway walked past the fireplace in their turn.
I can't take this anymore, I thought. How can a person sink so low? I have to get out, I can't bear to watch those people desecrate the sacred values. I imagined seeing the Devil's horns on every man's head and the fire of damnation all around them. Disgusting!
If I had been there as a private person, I would have left immediately, but now I had to think about my work. After all, I had promised to write in Jallu magazine about all kinds of interesting things happening here in America. And anyway, this was something interesting and unusual…
When the last man had poured as much as he could muster, the Arch Devil rang the bell again, and the congregation moved to a room where an old tombstone served as a tabletop, the walls covered with bizarre paintings, and on one side there was a skeleton and other horrifying objects. Near the table there was a strange seat, the purpose of which I soon came to understand. It had a lid that opened, and underneath it there was a bucket.
Now it was the women's turn to take part in the ceremonies. One by one, they pulled their panties down and aimed into the bucket under the chair so that you could hear the trickling. Oh, how awful! A terrible stench spread through the room as the women completed their task. It felt strange that even those who couldn't manage to squeeze out a single drop still wanted to sit on the toilet seat.
Earlier, when the men had performed the same ritual in another room, I had noticed the women following the event with an ecstatic look. I began observing the men, to see how they would react to what they saw. The smell didn't seem to bother them; they breathed deeply, nostrils flaring, with a blissful expression in their eyes. They looked so enraptured, as if they had witnessed a heavenly miracle.
Later, I asked a man how he had felt watching women pee.
– It was wonderful, he replied.
– A man cannot hear more beautiful music.
When all the peeing had been done – oh terrible! – the Devil gave the two men a position of trust: they were to carry the chamber pot to the meeting room by the fireplace. The parishioners followed behind them, watching with some interest the ceremony that was now taking place.
The Devil rang his bell again, the men dipped their fingers into the chamber pot and sprinkled urine on the cross. After that, they poured the whole bucketful into the fireplace, causing the fire to go out. However, the Devil poured some fluid to the fireplace, which made the fire ignite again. In silence, the congregation watched as the cross in the fireplace burned to ashes.
Everyone quietly took their places and the Arch Devil gave a sermon. He said that Satan finances the wars in the world, including the Vietnam War. A person should not refuse anything that brings them pleasure. If they love their neighbour's wife and she is willing, why refuse the pleasure? Or if someone feels attraction to animals or members of the same sex, there is no reason to abstain from the pleasures that involvement with them brings. The most important thing is that a person is happy – no matter what means it takes.
LaVey now put on a horrible-looking mask. The mask was symbolic – in this way, the Devil wanted to show us that Satan can come to a person wearing many faces: sometimes smiling, sometimes crying, happy, sad, terrifying, sometimes beautiful.
The atmosphere in the hall was very tense. The congregation listened and watched without moving as the Arch Devil performed his mass. Now he took a skull to his hand, because he wanted to show what a human is like and what he is destined to become. He hummed his quiet spells.
– Does anyone want to be hypnotised? he asked afterwards.
– I do want to, a man announced, but his voice trembled with fear.
– I cannot and do not want to hypnotise you, the Devil said, – for you do not believe, but doubt.
My friend, the owner of an art gallery, in turn, announced that he was willing to be hypnotised. LaVey tried and tried, but still could not put my friend into a hypnotic state. This apparently upset the Arch Devil greatly, because he later announced that my friend would no longer be coming to the Church of Satan. He belonged to the condemned, who, as I later learned, were not few in number.
This very same knowledgeable friend told me that on the feast days of different religions, similar ceremonies take place as what had happened today to the Christian cross. Then people urinate on the symbols of different religions and burn them to ashes.
I wondered to myself what strange things will happen next, as the hypnosis experiment had failed. At the same time, I regretted that it had failed – I would have liked to find out what the Devil made people do when under hypnosis.
– Who among you is afraid of death? asked the Devil now in a solemn voice.
Many of the parishioners admitted to being afraid of death.
– I will take that fear away from you, the Devil proclaimed.
From the corner of the room, a black coffin was brought out, and the first coward was ordered to lie down in it. The lid was closed, the lights were turned off, and only some small candle flames illuminated the dark room. The other congregants walked around the coffin for 10–15 minutes, tapping on its lid.
Then the lid was opened, and the next coward was allowed to lie down in the coffin.
Everyone claimed to have overcome their fear of death, but when I looked at how pale and shaken they appeared, I didn't believe they were telling the truth. As a human being, I too sometimes fear death, but not so much that I would agree to be a subject for the Devil's experiments.
Throughout the entire ceremony, no music was played. In a way, its absence only seemed to intensify the strange atmosphere.
Once again, the lights went out for a moment.
When they lit up again, a naked woman had appeared on the stone altar. She lay as if intoxicated, her thighs spread wide on the altar. It was the first time I witnessed a play like this and it was hard for me to believe my eyes. In retrospect, I have come to the conclusion that the woman was probably hypnotised. Her hands hung limp at her sides. Her chest barely lifted in time with her breathing.
The Devil went up to the woman and kissed her buttock, urging the men to do the same. With a devilish smile, however, he added that according to his teachings, everyone can do exactly what they want.
The men stood up and stepped up to the woman in turn. Kisses began to rain down on the woman: on her eyes, mouth, cheeks, breasts, navel and downwards.
My dear readers, where do you think these men kissed the naked woman the most? Yes, you guessed right!
A twenty-something girl whispered to me that the previous week she had been at the altar. I can well understand if the men had been eager to kiss her, as she was young and pretty, but this time the woman was — at least in my opinion — hardly attractive at all: at least 50 years old, brown-haired, a chubby grandmother type. But perhaps everything that had happened before had excited them — at least they carried out their task with apparent glee. And as I watched the women, I noticed that they were fully engaged, looking enraptured. It seemed as if they all wanted to lie at the altar to be kissed by the men.
When all the kisses had been given, the woman slowly got up as if she had just woken up — the Devil muttered his spells and the woman walked slowly down from the stone altar, glanced at the men critically, and then extended her hand to one of them. Without a word, they left the room together.
Somewhere in the house, I don’t know where, there is supposedly a room where those two went, according to tradition, to spend a night together. There, the woman undresses the man — and what happens after that is certainly not something they teach in Sunday school.
The other members of the Devil's congregation also seemed to be full of fervour. The men began unbuttoning their pants again, and the women lifted their skirts. Everyone started fumbling inside their pants for something. Oh, how awful, what am I about to see next! Everyone is screaming, shouting, groaning, and making noises. Then they pluck a bunch of hairs from their own tufts and bring them to the Devil to place in the cup he is holding.
A man came up to me and offered me some black hairs, urging me to take them to the bowl. I could not get a word out of my mouth, I just shook my head. I was disgusted by all those gray, red, black, and white hairs that the congregants were carrying to the Arch Devil wearing his black cloak.
The man shrugged slightly and put the hairs in his pocket.
My acquaintance, through whom I had gotten to follow these Devil's festivities, told me that he too always does it that way. He plucks hairs from his wig – each member must sacrifice at least six of them a week to the Arch Devil – pretending to tear them from his own tuft.
At the same time, as the Arch Devil sniffed his “offering” and set it on fire so that a disgusting stench filled the room, I thought to myself that the wig trick was actually quite clever.
Although only six hairs a week were to be placed in the offering, it wouldn’t be long before the loyal congregants had nothing left to pluck.
I was interested to learn more about the Arch Devil Anton LaVey after attending his ceremonies. They had shocked me and caused me to have nightmares for many nights.
I called LaVey several times, but a woman's voice always answered, saying that the Devil was not available. Only when I finally stated that I am a newspaper journalist and wanted to interview him did the woman advise me to call back in a couple of hours. That’s when the Devil himself would deign to speak with me.
And that’s exactly what happened, and the Devil promised to spare me an hour of his precious time.
– You’re in such a hurry, then? I asked in all innocence.
– Don’t you know that the Devil has to be everywhere? He cannot sleep at night or during the day, because there is work to be done all over the world.
At the agreed time, I rang the doorbell for a long time. Finally, I saw a woman's eyes through the door crack:
– What do you want?
– I have an appointment with the Arch Devil.
– One moment. I will check on that.
I waited outside the door to see what would happen.
After a long time, the door opened again, and I got to meet the Arch Devil himself in his own environment – in civilian clothes, if one can use such a term.
LaVey was wearing a white shirt and he said immediately after we greeted each other:
– Just a moment. I'll go get dressed first.
– But you are already dressed.
– No, I am not dressed, the Devil announced and disappeared somewhere.
Soon he returned to the reception room. He was wearing a black suit, the same black cloak he had worn in front of the congregation, a large ring on his hand, and a bright red medallion around his neck.
The room was elongated, with paintings alluding to death on the walls, there were Satanic info leaflets on the table, a stuffed wild boar to the left of the door, and a hyena to the right.
A pleasant-looking woman under 30 entered, with light brown hair falling to her waist. She was Diana, the Devil's Swedish-born wife. She refused to be photographed or participate in any way, saying that she would not involve herself in her husband's affairs, even though she was always nearby.
Soon she left the room, and I did not see her again.
I studied the Devil carefully in the daylight. He was indeed rather attractive. Tall, well-built body, bald head, sharply defined features. No wonder he has so many female admirers.
– What did you do before you became the Arch Devil? I asked.
– I was an animal tamer in a circus, La Vey replied. – Before, I played with lions, now I play with humans. I am the Arch Devil, Satan on Earth, there is no greater Devil than me.
I had heard about LaVey and his lions before, and he also talked about them himself – especially about his domestic pet. He became famous throughout San Francisco for keeping a handsome male lion at home. When it was three years old, he had to give it up to the San Francisco Zoo. The neighbours complained that the lion disturbed them with its roaring.
– He was a magnificent lion, the Devil said with a hint of melancholy in his voice.
– He obeyed no one else in the family and tore curtains and furniture apart while I was away. But he followed me like a dog. I always took him along when I went shopping with my station wagon. When I got out of the car, he roared so loudly that passersby stopped, but when I got back in, he went silent. And when I sat down, the lion also sat down. He was allowed to roam freely in my home and always slept at the foot of my bed.
Truly a suitable pet for the Devil; a wild beast that everyone else feared.
– How did you come up with the idea of becoming Satan and the Arch Devil?
He answered seriously:
– I wanted to serve humanity. From a young age, I already knew that Satan dwells within me. My task is immensely important. Without Satan, there would be no God either. How could people know God if they were not being frightened by Satan? The Church threatens that wicked people will end up in the river of Hades and in Hell. From this, you can see that my task is even more important than God's.
Each of you, my dear readers, can think whatever you want. However, I believe you think in the same healthy way as I do. This Satan cult is dangerous and disgusting.
– When did you found your church and congregation?
– On the last day of April in 1966. I have followers all over the world. Nowadays there are 7,000 members, but their number is constantly growing.
– I am known everywhere. Recently, a film crew came here to San Francisco all the way from England to make a movie about me and our congregation's meetings. And in the fall, the book I wrote, The Devil's Bible, will be published, which will further increase my fame. By the way, did you know that the screenwriter of Rosemary’s Baby got the idea from me and my congregation?
I didn't know that.
What is remarkable, by the way, is that LaVey is often invited to congresses and meetings to give lectures on his philosophy of life.
– The San Francisco police know me well too. One night, a man called me. He said his car had broken down, and when the police couldn’t help him, they suggested that he might want to ask the Arch Devil himself for help. They even gave him my phone number. Well, the Devil never gets to rest, so I drove in my car to meet the man, performed a few tricks – and his car started moving as if it had never had a problem at all.
– Did the man come to your meetings later?
– No, he didn’t. He probably got a little scared, since I had put on my black cloak and horns. I guess the guy was a bit frightened.
– How can one become a member of your congregation?
– I welcome those who are interested, talk with them, and listen to what they have to say. Later, after considering the matter, I inform them whether I accept them as members or not. Those under 18 cannot join the Church of Satan without parental consent, either.
– I have heard that you have performed wedding ceremonies for the citizens of Hell as well?
– That's true. Especially back when I still had my lion, the ceremony was very impressive. The lion stood between me and the couple getting married, torches blazed behind me, and I wore my most formal ceremonial attire with all my horns and everything. The wedding couples, on the other hand, were always naked. Can you imagine more impressive weddings?
– What do you require of your parishioners?
– Nothing other than faith and living according to my teachings. For those who ask too many clever questions, I give a ban without mercy.
As he said this, the Arch Devil gave me a scrutinizing glance. I hurried to explain that I would gladly look at his house if he would bother to show it. Secretly in my mind, I thought that perhaps he feared intelligent people because he feared competition. Someone else could also start carving gold with a wooden spoon. It was obvious that being the Devil paid off. The house was spacious, there was a swimming pool, and in front of the door stood an old-fashioned large luxury Packard car, which looked just like a hearse.
We entered a room with a dark brown floor and peculiar paintings on the walls, which had been painted by LaVey himself. In the same room, there was a large library dedicated solely to demons, Hell, and death. Many of the books were very valuable old works, including the Devil's Textbook. The tabletop was a gravestone, a light marble slab, inscribed with the legend "As long as you are alive, say yes to life; dead, you will have stay a long time." In a cabinet along the wall, there was a real skeleton. The Devil had gathered the bones from the cemetery and then nailed them together. The skeleton's purpose was to remind people that once you reach this point, there is nothing more that can be done. Therefore, we must live our lives to the fullest and take everything possible from it.
– Go ahead! Lift the lid and pee in it!
I shuddered. I remembered the disgusting ceremonies of Satan's congregation and thought quietly to myself what kind of ceremonies he would come up with if I actually did what he had suggested. But now it was daytime, and I had gotten past my worst shock. So I bravely sat down on the toilet and continued asking questions:
– What is that strange-looking board with an image of spiral that stands on the dresser behind me?
– I use it as my tool when I hypnotise people.
– Shall I hypnotise you too?
I looked into his eyes and got scared. I felt that he might be able to take control of me if I let him lull me into a hypnotic sleep.
– Do you often hypnotise your parishioners?
– Yes. But only if they want it themselves. And when I do, I can make them do whatever I want. Even if I ordered them to commit murder, they would do exactly as I have demanded.
I thought about the art gallery owner and felt like saying that he didn’t always succeed, even if the person agreed to be hypnotised. But I remained silent. I remembered the naked woman on the altar. What commands had he given her? Could he eventually gain control over anyone? I didn’t believe it, but still…
– Do you have any vices? Do you smoke?
– I don't smoke, but I do drink alcohol. Remember, according to my teachings, no one should deny themselves that which brings them joy. I enjoy drinking, and I have been arrested for 170 times and taken to the police station for drunkenness and charged with drunk driving and other disturbances.
Can you believe it! Here in Finland, we always say that nowhere else there are as many drunk people as we have. But you can see some in America too – even the Arch Devil himself!
The kitchen was modern and spacious. There I also met LaVey's 5-year-old daughter Tiina, who showed no signs of anything satanic, at least not outwardly. She had the same long blonde hair as her mother. But when I started talking to the girl more closely, I noticed a sharp look in her eyes that I couldn't quite make sense of. Maybe it was because her father's profession was not like that of many families, or maybe there was some other reason for that strange expression.
Also the kitchen was out of the ordinary. The Devil himself had painted on the black walls some bright red images of Satan holding a pitchfork in his hand. In the large glass cabinet, among regular dishes and bottles, there were skull-shaped cups.
The Devil's bedroom had dark red walls, and black stairs led up to the ceiling, where he slept behind black curtains in a black bed with black sheets.
– Can you have beautiful dreams in a bed like that? I asked.
– Oh, yes. And before, the lion used to sleep at the foot of the bed and never caused any trouble.
Opposite the stairs was a black door that led upstairs. LaVey's wife and child slept there.
I looked around and felt a sense of anxiety. The room had a horrible atmosphere; it was dim and gloomy. The entire ceiling was draped with some dark floral fabric that hung down in a bag-like way, giving a wizardly impression. On small tables and dressers, there were all sorts of things belonging to the Devil. On top of the bookcase there was a pig's head, and on the dresser, there were many pig heads. I remember reading somewhere that the pig plays a very large role in the Devil’s life, and that seemed to be the case even now. Some claim that a pig is a very wise animal, who knows – at least this Arch Devil seemed to like pigs. The Devil's mask, over 200 years old, had once belonged to a real wizard; on the walls there were old weapons, bayonets, antique rifles, swords, and wherever I looked, I saw skulls grinning at me wickedly. The hairs on my neck stood on end in this strange bedroom, and I wondered:
– I wonder what it would feel like to sleep in a room like this?
– Go and try it out, said the Devil, and I was genuinely astonished by this suggestion. You see, I knew that not even the most loyal parishioners had ever been allowed to see, let alone try, his bed.
I quickly took off my shoes and climbed up the black stairs to the ceiling. But when I saw the bed draped in black fabric, my courage failed me. I descended back to the floor and asked in passing what the strange, terrifying-looking gloves were for. They looked like a monster's hands, hairy and veiny. The nails were long and curved like those of a bird of prey.
The Devil took the gloves from the top of the bookshelf, and before I could get an answer, I noticed a rough wooden bed covered in red faux leather. The entire bed was full of long, sharp spikes.
– That looks exactly like a yogi's bed, I said.
– Actually, I have been practicing yoga for many years, La Vey said. – I sit on the spikes in the same position that Gandhi once did among his disciples. Sometimes I lie down on my spiked bed. It's good for meditation.
– Meditation?
– I, on the other hand, have heard that you put your disciples on a bed of nails and whip them.
– Well, even of the Devil, there must be rumours around, said LaVey. His expression was difficult to decipher.
– This is what you do with these!
I watched him in horror. In fact, he had very beautiful eyes, but when he turned into the Devil, they became infinitely piercing and evil. I felt that there was some magical attraction in this man that completely captivates a person.
I broke free from his grip and chuckled, pretending to be carefree:
– Shall we continue inspecting the house?
The Arch Devil had proclaimed his tens of commandments in front of his congregation. Now I asked if he might possibly have any other theses. (Not with these exact words, though, because I didn't want him to know that I had already been to a meeting that he had held.)
– I have 9 important commandments, which are as follows:
Live as you want without worrying about others!
Live as you please! If you want to have a sexual relationship with five women, do it!
Don't waste your time and love on those who don't deserve it! Be good only to those who are good to you too!
The Bible teaches that if someone strikes you on the cheek, turn to them the other cheek as well. The Devil says: take revenge for this act!
The Devil is the Church's best friend…
I listened to the Devil's melodious voice. It sounded almost like a priest giving mass, and I began to feel drowsy.
I woke up when LaVey finished his speech and asked him to explain his philosophy of life a bit more clearly.
– A person cannot love everyone and anyone. They can only love one single person, because otherwise their strength disappears. Another important feeling in a person's life is anger. That, too, should not be wasted to the winds of the world any more than love. If you hate everything and everyone, you lose the ability to hate in the right way.
– What do you have to offer to mankind?
– Joy. I say: come to me and I will make you happy. Why hesitate? Why refuse? If a woman desires a man, let her lie with him; if a man wants sexual relations with dozens of women, let him do as he wishes. If you are a man and love another man, nothing should stop you from fulfilling your desire. The main thing is that a person is happy and content during this short earthly journey…
This is what the Arch Devil Anton La Vey said to me.
I feel that he has, at least for his part, fulfilled all his desires and wishes. In his position as the Arch Devil, he has a large income and an uninhibited lifestyle.
But when I read the circular about the topics he regularly lectures on at his house on California Street, I start to wonder whether this cult of the Devil is really exactly as LaVey described it and what I saw myself at the congregation meeting.
The list includes topics such as the Triumph of Pain (torture methods, advanced sado-masochistic devices and practices, spike beds, human pincushions), the Kingdom of Death (strange burial customs, lovers of death, necrophiles – meaning such people who obtain sexual satisfaction through sexual intercourse with the dead), and so on.
By paying $2.50 for a lecture, people are apparently offered some very strange things to listen to and see at these events.
Besides, special meetings are held for trusted members of the Devil's congregation, which outsiders are strictly forbidden to attend. What happens there? Rumours tell all sorts of things.
Who knows if those whips are ever used? Or if the Devil's followers are forced onto a spiked bed? Just what I saw at an ordinary meeting of the Devil's congregation made me think that anything could happen here.
There was something wondrous, magical in LaVey, the Arch Devil, a kind of attraction that could make some people do absolutely anything. Even murders…
How would you feel if you actually encountered the Arch Devil like I did? I was terrified, but I managed to survive his grasp. The painting behind me is the Devil's work. As is customary, the main colour in the Devil's house is red — so it is in this torture chamber as well.
The bookshelves contain all sorts of knowledge about devils and demons. Many works are so old and rare that they have great antique value.
It is said the bells ring in Hades, and so they do in the Arch Devil's black house as well, calling all the heathens to gather there.
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